6:24 p.m. 2009-06-30
four.
Rashomon! Rahh, I want to do it so badly. Why do I have to go sign up for the lyrics writing class, which clashes! Also clashes with FOC which means I'll be missing 1+3 classes. -.- Isn't night susposed to be FREE time? -.- Bleh like how last year Jap class always clashes with Minister Wife rehearsals.
Randomly went to search for online movies to watch and ended up with 50 first dates. It was funny & touching & 254ish! :D Ok a question, should I watch transformers if I'm not a fan of action?
Xiaolongbao steamboat buffet ytd at Holland V was good, a good place to intro the parents and then I'll just go for xiaolongbaos not the steamboat. (:
Room is in a dusty state now. Progress is probably erm 8% completed, sigh. FOC is real soon! shoo h1n1 please.
12:06 a.m. 2009-06-29
time flies
Things to do (for now, in no order) 1. Unpack hall stuff. 2. Tidy up room. 3. Renovate/Decorate room. 4. Finish watching Beautiful Illusions 5. Finish watching buliangxiaohua. 6. Catch up with friends. 7. Two-oh-seven. 8. Watch state of play. 9. Work @ PC fair. 10. FOC related stuff. 11. FOC. 12. Exercise. 13. Finish reading my library books. 14. Clean up blog links, get new blog design, etc. 15. Clean up laptop. (desktop & files)
This list I made at the beginning of the month. After intense procrastination, shall aim to finish everything before FOC. (:
3:21 a.m. 2009-06-27
pinky Bling-ed my phone! I like the japanese feel of the back design, and the bunny reminds me of shancai's bunny in 流星花园. <3 my phone now, although I do feel a little 爱慕虚荣 heehee :X
1:13 a.m. 2009-06-25
psychosis
Today +1 to journ and +1 to theatre.
Received reply from lit prof, 50% research essay sounds very intimidating, yet sounds good too. haha..
HL207: Research essay (50%) Exam (50%)
HL306: 500 words reaction papers x2 (25%) 1600 words essay (25%) Exam (50%)
Sigh, can't believe I woke up late. Anyhow take and now I have 3 CS mods that I do not really want. SHEESH.
keep 221 if I can swap to T4. keep 230 if there's people to take with. keep 252 if there's people to take with. But chances are it won't happen and I'll drop everything. -.-
& If I don't get Forensics my second choice is magical realm, which means THREE lit mods. Why on earth am I in CS???
7:42 a.m. 2009-06-22
yumms.
I'm crazy.
Spent all night googling weekday lunch deals from all over Singapore, just cos darling got Monday off. Haha, such a typical Singaporean looking for the best lobang!
Its because I couldn't sleep, and looking at yummy (& pretty much unaffordable) food photos and reviews makes time pass very very fast.
To sleep or not to sleep now.
Bleh, actually my concern now is to wake up in time for stars registration on tuesday. :( & be sane enough not to make stupid decisions on stars. :(
7:22 p.m. 2009-06-21
Loneliness Little do men perceive what solitude is, and how far extends. For a crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, And talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.
From childhood's hour I have not been As others were; I have not seen As others saw; I could not bring My passions from a common spring.
childlike Loneliness is gray It tastes bitter and sour It smells of dry grass in a lonesome field It looks love no one A garden of dull flowers No one but you The world is yours But you have no one to share it with.
thoughtful Like a lone cherry blossom that falls, It feels as if you're the only one You're the only one who understands You're the only one against the world That others do not care about you It's like there's darkness Where there should be light It feels as if you're falling And no one's there catching you It feels like there's a knife in your heart That no one's there for you Where there once was happiness Now replaced by sadness That only one can understand.
angry, bitterness Loneliness sounds like nothing Only the echos of your thoughts In a tunnel swirling in your mind No answers, no responses, only questions Loneliness creeps upon you As you watch the fire slowly burn The embers forming into a face You can't seem to get out of your mind
morose, self-pity The room is brimming with life and noise Yet I do not hear a single voice People walk through me as though I do not exist Whether I shout or raise my fist It's a cry for help a yearning for notice Sitting here with my head in my hands Crying tears that shouldn't have escaped Talking to myself again Thinking there's someone here with me.
hysterical, dramatic Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone Silence the pianos and with muffled drum Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come Let aeroplanes circle moaning ahead Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves Let the traffic policeman wear black cotton gloves He was my North, my South, my East and West My working week and Sunday rest My moon, my midnight, my talk, my song I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
shy, thoughtful The human heart has hidden treasures In secret kept, in silence sealed The thoughts, the hopes, the dreams, the pleasures Whose charms were broken if revealed And days may pass in gay confusion And nights in rosy riot fly While, lost in Fame's or Wealth's illusion The memories of the Past may die But there are hours of lonely musings Such as in evening silence come, When soft as birds their pinions closing The heart's best feelings gather home Then in our souls there seem to languish A tender grief that is not woe And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish Now cause but some mild tears to flow.
fearful Where were you? What were you doing? As I waited in the darkness, in the bitterness of the cold I waited for you, hour after hour, and it started to rain I loved the rain, it hid my tears and shadowed my pain. As I cry, the rain would be there for me, to cry along with me I looked up to the sky, as rain showered upon me I felt so alone, I felt so cold I felt as though my life had escaped my hold.
PS: Came across this devised draft, which was deconstructed afterwards. I miss DEP, I miss theatre.
PSS: Bold-ed parts are the parts I really like, or mean something a little more to me.
OR I could watch shows, I could play maple, I could finally start packing hall/room stuff, I could read the overdued library books, I could go crazy and hardcore mugging, I could sleep the whole day, I could find people to go out with.
OR you (if anyone's reading) can ask me out. (:
12:12 a.m. 2009-06-18
hotel california.
Dinner with Xinyi today after mass dance, we were talking about FOC, and cluedo, and last year cluedo. Havent thought about it for a long time, but now it seems to be stuck in my head once again. I suddenly remember what happened, I remember Pamy, Jinhe, I remember the look on Amos's face that was so impactful and undescribable. & of course, I remember the Minister Wife.
Perhaps thats why there may be this hidden fear in me, that something may happen, dynamics may change. Yet there is no valid reasons for insecurities. Except that perhaps again, the more one treasures something, the more one is afraid of losing. Then again, human nature, no?
1:51 a.m. 2009-06-15
10 facts of PCFair experience.
4 days of PC fair is finally over! Not bad hurhur, 4 days of work in almost 4 months of holidays.
1. I can't do sales. The amount of annoyingness and thickskin necessary for the job is disturbing to me. But throughout the 4 days the thought of wanting to try sales next time cross my mind a few times. And some sales people really earn a lot, its really crazy.
2. I get hungry very easily, by just sitting down the whole day. -.-
3. I suck at old classic PC games like minesweeper and pinball.
4. The New Paper is still trash.
5. I suck at numbers and counting stocks. Somehow always don't tally one. Think I'll get screamed at if JL isn't there to do the stocks and settlement stuff. :X
6. Thursday sales are better than Friday sales, Saturday sales are about the same as Thursday sales, and Sunday sales are double of Thursday.
7. My maths CMI. $199 for a $209 product I need to think damn long to figure out its a ten bucks discount. -.-
8. Throughout the 4 days, most frequent address that came up was Woodlands, followed by Compassvale Drive and Jurong West! & there was an address a few blocks away from my block and I think I saw that person before. There are interesting names of people, such as sentosa and widjaja. HAHA.
9. Weiyi came down to give me double subway double choc cookies! I'm really gandong, especially when I thought he was there to look at IT stuff, but he just came to find me and then left. Subway cookies are super sweet! figuratively and literally. ((((:
10. Yayy parents came down and bought the laser printer I wanted, canon 133bucks!
1:58 a.m. 2009-06-12
sashimi craves.
First day at work. Shaggg, tho I've been slacking pretty much the whole day. Time passes pretty fast though, like after nine hours it feels like I havent been doing anything at all the whole day. The salespeople are earning so much more, but I'm not talking material. haha unless compliance gaining strategies coming into place HAHA. would be so much more shag being a salesperson tho! Hate having to wake up so early in the morning. Bleh, I should sleep soon. Found out that most people who buy products stay in Woodlands and Jurong West! yeah, random. haha my survey observation. Yay for lunch and dinner included. Pay's pathetic compared to the salespeople, but satisfying without the comparation. Ohwells. I aim to save up and not spend any money these four days at all haha. I want a macbook pro, (my vaio has been giving off funny noises lately) and a laser printer. Sigh but knowing I won't spend any money on a big-scale, working for money is kind of pointless isn't it. Since in that sense I don't need the money. I bet ultimately all my pay goes into food anyway. haha piggy me. woots~ still craving for sashimi~
11:27 p.m. 2009-06-09
seriously.
Seriously. Whats the big deal!! gosh. Wasted a whole day of energy. Seriously, Same X can make me genuinely cry and genuinely laugh all in a minute.
Okay time to make someone's day. Going to get out of room and meet the parents. =)
8:30 p.m. 2009-06-09
Seriously.
Seriously.
I don't know what to do.
Seeing CQ in a new light.
A vulnerable place, vulnerable to temptations and instincts.
Seeing photog in a new light.
How do you protray emotions?
The photographer is behind the camera.
What you see is not what the camera sees.
An old man asked me for directions to the National Library.
The genuine smile on his face when I guided him.
I'm sorry to the person on 190.
Had to tolerate my stupid nonsense for an hour.
and I think I nodded off on the person a few times. :X
Cheers to the world.
3:27 a.m. 2009-06-09
blog.
Attempted to clean up the links, a task procrastinated for YEARS. Noticed a few things.
1. Diaryland was actually considered popular in the days when I started this blog. ALL my friends diarylands have disappear, by the way.
2. Keep receiving messages such as "this journal has been purged.", "this journal no longer exists." and "the blog you are looking for does not exist, click here to register XXusername." and I wonder, how can people bear to just purge and delete their blogs like that, especially some of those who has been around for years. Blogs hold so much memories, it'll be the end of the year if someday my entries disappear.
3. My nanyang friends blogs are majority gone. There was the 202 category, the TCN category, the 413 category and the others category. Now whats remained became the NYGH category and looks rather pathetic.
4. All the BPPS, Dharnas and JJ blogs are gone :(
5. Heartpain when I deleted so many links. It feels horrible, that maybe, just maybe, some of these names may forever be gone from my memory.
6. Deleted my profile descriptions of "loves" and "hates" too, after so many years. Some of them no longer hold true. heh.
Nevertheless, I love(d) you, tcn, feste, sharon au, chocolates, neopets, obs-dharna-pk, baby blue, hot pink, 5k 2000, stef sun, chincillas, long john silver, owner dot, jinyuan high sch, the nunus, spiderman715, yess93.3 project S, JJ orientation-ogls, dep-slglfot & the mugging days. and I hate(d) jabs, exams, disappointments, regrets, backstabbers, helplessness, milk, vanilla, falling sick, insecurities, loneliness, politics.
7. Put up links of my other blogs, blogs I share with friends and groups etc. Most of them are really outdated. :( If you guys are reading this, lets revive our blogs and keep them alive? (:
8. Bleh I know the background photo really clashes with the layout, noob me. Shall change/mess around it with more next time.
9. Got an irritating running nose, headache, and a job interview tomorrow. GAH. Weather is still too hot to sleep. :(
11:58 p.m. 2009-06-07
sigh.
Things to do (for now, in no order) 1. Unpack hall stuff. 2. Tidy up room. 3. Renovate/Decorate room. 4. Finish watching Beautiful Illusions 5. Finish watching buliangxiaohua. 6. Catch up with friends. 7. Two-oh-seven. 8. Watch state of play. 9. Work @ PC fair. 10. FOC related stuff. 11. FOC. 12. Exercise. 13. Finish reading my library books. 14. Clean up blog links, get new blog design, etc. 15. Clean up laptop. (desktop & files)
PS: sheesh, attempted to add some background picture, ended up like this.. zzz nevermind shall leave it for the time being. zzz
3:56 a.m. 2009-06-07
dreams
Keep having dreams lately. Funny how I only remember having dreams ONCE in the entire past year when it was hall life and it was about stupid stars system. -.-"
Right now I still remember distinctly 3 dreams I had recently, about myself, about friends, about boyfriend.
Seriously need to adjust my body clock back..starting tomorrow.
1:03 a.m. 2009-06-04
inability for expression Start on a clean slate, smile, laugh, tear, see childish parallels, understand, ponder life.
good day. (:
3:37 a.m. 2009-06-02
wenrous
Lately this song by Mayday has been playing in my head..(and funnily, May has just gone by.)