2009
2:32 a.m. || 2009-12-31 |
give up.
this few nights have been painful jaded, jaded green. Ha, I'm quoting. studying absurdism taught me the dualism in everything. perhaps its all masks a brand new day, a brand new year? a downward spiral.
and me finally went home after the camera died. and town today was surprisingly not crowded, a rather different xmas eve from previous years. the people around, the missing dog, the funeral, the poor white cat, made me realised how lucky I actually am, and that this christmas is not sucky after all. =)
Most asked questions floating around was "When are you flying" and "What have you been doing", and pokemon was the first thing that came into mind. LOL. Kinda sad that everyone is leaving so soon, in a few days times, in a week or two..and then everyone would be gone & the next time you see them would be zomg August.
Head down to one of my favourite places after that...felt awesome. Despite not going there for a rather a long time, there was still the enchantment, of every single part of Esplanade. The walkway, the basements, the outside, the atrium, the mall, the library, the rooftop, the gallery (where I walked & banged into a glass wall-.- but the exhibitions are good). It's the feel of the place. Just like how revisiting borders yesterday after a long time feels. All those years when going to Orchard means YAY BORDERS while parents shop, and refusing to leave even after midnight. (borders used to close at 1 or 2am last time) kids section FTW always. and there was the literature/drama books time, self-help books time, funny books time, popular novels time, & the mugging at borders coffee bean time. Favourite places, as though being transported to another world once you step in, as though nothing else matters for it is (:
But it was :( that I fell asleep and woke up at the correct busstop but didn't register that it's the correct busstop because BPP LIGHTS WERE OFF, and then fell back to sleep again. >.< suddenly there seem to be so much stuff to do, current POKEMON addiction which takes up a lot of time, many books to read, many movies/dramas to watch, thousands of photos to sort and edit and delete (need to start taking good photos without anyhow snapping >.<), & there's the instep stuff to plan and settle, and me wanna find something exciting/out of the ordinary to do.
...actually the real reason is because dad/phone repairman says that the data will be lost. -.- and being stupid/sucker for punishment/sentimental (haha its not just laziness that I don't delete messages ok)/whatever, I had to look through every single message (ok I had a lot of time today too) to make sure nothing memorable/sweet/meaningful/etc disappear forever. It was an interesting process, (yes lots of primers), he was sweet. Definitely different from the type of sweetness in the year 2007 phone, but still sweet. Sweet, but very foreign now. Hard to imagine or turn time back because all that seem unreal now. Makes me feel that I took him for granted, especially this year. Perhaps it is also human nature to tend to remember the bad stuff and not the good stuff when there is a substantial amount of bad stuff. Then there were friends, I was shocked to see so much smses from some of them, and also surprised to see much lesser than I expected from some. There were ridiculously funny messages, there were messages from friends that were always about the same things--that you can predict stuff about them already, there were messages that made me feel loved and appreciated, there were encouraging messages that tell me I can always count on them, there were the morning!/wake up!/up yet? messages, there were the emo and ranting messages which makes me feel pretty helpless sometimes, and there were those messages that makes me sad now because you aren't as close as before now. ...so I actually took photos of those text messages that I want to keep, those sweet/touching ones, and..even the unpleasant ones. the quarrels and emo-ness, they mean something. but all these photos, a grand total of 75..would be kept, just kept. the next time I look at them would probably be a few years later.
on an happier note, saw this bubble floating around just now when i was bathing, came from the soap, but it made me grin like an idiot being mesmerized by that bubble, totally made my day.
2. Bookfair @ suntec! been some time since the childhood years when going to bookfairs were highlights of the year. Its a feel-good bookfair, seeing the same books bought at the penguin warehouse sale selling at 5 times the price. Its also feel-good to see familiar titles of lit classics and novels, for the reason that good books feel good. Feel-good also because of the funny books around, feel-good to know what verisimilitude means, having been one of my favourite words to use in drama essays. Feel-good because of the standup-ahbengz-comedian-conman-onstage, his irritating buaypaiseh ridiculous yet entertaining and strangely addictive tactics and stories make him highly memorable. yayy & thanks jason for letting me satisfy my long awaited soup spoon craving! 3. DAC Beer appreciation tour @ APB. I thought jiayi & clara were going! but both of them didn't go in the end, wasn't as bad as I thought though, meeting new people like Celestine and Andrew, found quite a few things in common to talk about. basically the beer appreciation program include a talk that teaches how to smell and taste different types of beer, and how to pair them with food. Food was amazingly attas, love the cheese platter. then andrew got drunk and provided much entertainment and stunners, rather an eye-opener. 4. headed to town for dinner in an impulsive decision perhaps with the alcohol inside thy system, and was kind of regretting it, panicking on the train ride there. thanks my fellow aries-er for the company, I was pretty touched that you knew exactly how I would react to all those stuff. aries ftw! That was a crazy night, felt like old times, like before the whole thing even started. remember the times during tempest crewing at SRT when we went to UE square's cold storage during breaks and to buy stuff for cast? remember the chicken, and meiji yorgurt? 5. kbox with roomie, FINALLY! after all our lunch/dinner/outing dates that were unfulfilled and all the unfated misses of each other (her being at hall7 & can B, me being at ADM library) during the school semester we finally met up! It was oldies most of the time, we sang 张学友, 张信哲, 郭富城,周华健! & rekindled my fangirl-love-since-the-campus-concert for 品冠 (: We met jin after that for princess and the frog, me likes the twists and bug & the star. lots of camwhoring with alvin and the chipmunks, THEY ARE SO CUTE CAN. I was so tempted to bring them home with me hahaha, and then guess who we met! LEEHOM! SO SHUAI. hahaha a stereoform standup of leehom advertising for chicken essence which looks quite real. Was tempted to bring that home with me too. x) 6. Watched avatar 3d with weiyi! Not a fan of action, but avatar's really good, although a little draggy at some points. I really like the 量身定做 of the avatar characters, and how 3D draws people into the action and into the magical forest. Reminds me of enid blyton's faraway tree series lol. magical realism & imagining other worlds hehe. We went to look at cameras and videocams after that which makes me proud of my cam. :D tho its been more than a hundred albums, 2 years plus and a little worn out. took many many photos at the interchange and there was this old lady cleaner/sweeper who is so hardworking that I cannot stand how she doesn't take a rest and nobody seem to notice her. ):
stupid diaryland with photos screws up layout. :X 1.aboard a super cool bus that has seats that can go almost all the way down, massaging buttons to press, movies, dramas, songs & games to play, with food and drinks served, and a cute waiter. hahaha. I mostly watched movies: The devil wears prada, 大喜事,幸福万岁, MJ's Moonwalk and some cartoons. The MJ documentary is one word: pastiche! :D but rather entertaining. (: just laid back and stare at sky and tree leaves going by for a while and came up with a random attempt of the previous post. 2.Love the weather, upon reaching there the first thought I had was actually remembering those rainy mugging days at those open spaces in school which were so comfortable. Ironic how I love the rain, yet when �I love the rain� comes to mind, I subconsciously complete it with �it hid my tears and shadowed my pain�. Not emo, merely one of my monologue lines from dep devised piece that stuck. If December is my favourite month, it would be because of the weather, not Christmas. 3.Indoor theme park! Shopping, bowling, manicure, arcade, more shopping. Didn�t buy much stuff, despite wanting to. First time in my life getting a manicure wor, although its nothing much and my nails are freaking short. Haha. Met two kids at the nails place, and coincidentally met them again the next day in the morning in the lift when we left the hotel and again in the lift at night when we came back to the hotel. They�re so cute! & we recognise each other by nails. Lol! Went for the 4D motion master ride and haunted house. Cool effects in the haunted house but being a ghost is way more fun! x) 4.Outdoor theme park on day 2! Child ticket for the win. Haha. Sat on spinner and cyclone and pirate ship with huimin & carrine while the guys were eating breakfast. Was pretty worried about the pirate ship because escape�s pirate ship was scary and genting�s one seem higher. Sat somewhere in the middle and it was still pretty scary, but not as scary as first experience at escape! Saw the guys queuing at pirate ship when we got off and hence got to cut queue and went on the ride again, this time sitting right at the edge! Was kind of freaking out but it turned out to be not scary at all as I was laughing too much at Eugene to feel anything! Yayy. Went to sit on the superman ride which went 360degrees and it was damn fun. Ate icecream, blew some money on throwing hoops and shooting bottles, the guys went archery, and then..dinner! 5.At some international buffet place which is HUGE. Western, Japanese (was so happy to see sashimi haha), local, nonya, desert! Really eat a lot, the guys especially. Day 2 morning went for breakfast buffet, every meal also eat a lot! 6.Sat the cable car and the guys throw stuff down from the window. -_- girls were in another car with the adults and I was so bored that I fell asleep, both on the way down and on the way up. Mushroom farm dinner on day 2, ordered tons of dishes again. There�s a huge dog, which I find rather charming. Haha and flexible too, it keeps going under the gate. 7.Ahma birthday on day 3. Girls went to buy cupcakes, to go with dim sum lunch. Deep down I still feel sad that ahgong is not around anymore. .bleh. day 3 was more shopping and waiting at starbucks for the bus, and I can�t seem to dissociate starbucks with mugging/laptop-ing anymore. :X back to the cool bus, and back to long long busrides, and back to Singapore.
Peek and seek. Giving way to droopy leaves and Neither yellow nor green nor brown Chunks of white fluff,
1.before sunrise in 2 days! woohoo. gentings in a few hours! byebye! :D
1. Memory is a wonderful thing, if you don't have to deal with the past. 2. Maybe I'm crazy, but...when I was a little girl, my mom told me that I was always late to school. One day she followed me to see why. I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees rolling on the sidewalk or...ants crossing the road...the way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk...little things. I think it's the same with people. I see in them little details so specific to each of them that move me and that I miss, and...will always miss. You can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details. [oh yes, I always love the way yellow leaves fall and form patterns on the way home in primary school..observing a snail crossing my path 2 years back on the way home from rehearsals..the way the the tree branches and leaves cast a shadow on the block 2 sign as I pass by from hall to can2..little things all in vivid details, that move me, and that I miss..] 3. I guess when you're young...you just believe there'll be many people with whom you'll connect with. Later in life you realize it only happens a few times. [yep, the more these few times are really treasured.] 4. Even being alone...it's better than...sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely. It's not so easy for me to be all romantic. [sitting next to a lover and feeling lonely really sucks. i love comfortable silences.] 5. Celine: You know, I guess I've been heartbroken too many times. And then I recovered. So now, you know, from the starts I make no effort�because I know it�s not going to work out, I know it�s not going to work out. [sounds way too familiar, I have heard this from someone, and I agree with Jesse..]
1. Anyway, I was in the backyard, playing, and my sister had just taught me how to take the garden hose, and do it in such a way that, uh, you could spray it into the sun, and you could make a rainbow. And so I was doing that, and through the mist I could see my grandmother. And she was just standing there, smiling at me. And uh, then I held it there, for a long time, and I looked at her. And then finally, I let go of the nozzle, you know, and then I dropped the hose, and she disappeared. And so I went back inside, and I tell my parents, you know. And they, uh, sit me down give me big rap on how when people die you never see them again, and how I'd imagined it. But, I knew what I'd seen. And I was just glad that I saw that. I mean, I've never seen anything like that since. But, I don't know. It just kind of let me know how ambiguous everything was, you know, even death. [The sort of things I would believe in, the sort of stories I would tell, but only to the special one or two. So if someone tells me stuff like that, I'll probably react the same way as Celine did.] 2. I mean, love is a complex issue. You know, I mean, it's like, uh. I mean, yes, I had told somebody that I love them before, and I had meant it. Was it totally a totally unselfish, giving love? Was it a beautiful thing? Not really, you know. It's like love, I mean, uh, I don't know. You know? [I mean, uh, I don't know. yes, I know.] 3. You know what's the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It's when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with, and you realize that that is how little they're thinking about you, you know. You know, you'd like to think that you're both in all this pain, but really, they're just, Hey, I'm glad you're gone. 4. I always feel this pressure of being a strong and independent icon of womanhood, and without making... making it look my... my whole life is revolving around some guy. But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more? 5. If there's any kind of magic in this world, it must be in the attempt of understanding someone, sharing something. I know, it's almost impossible to succeed, but... who cares, really? The answer must be in the attempt. [i love this quote..] 6. People always exchange phone numbers, addresses, they end up writing once, calling each other once or twice... Fizzles out. Yeah, I mean, I don't want that. I hate that. Why do you think everybody thinks relationships are supposed to last forever? 7. When you talked earlier about after a few years, how a couple begin to hate each other, by anticipating their reactions, or getting tired of their mannerisms. I think it would be the opposite for me. I think I could really fall in love when I know everything about someone. The way he's gonna part his hair. Which shirt he's gonna wear that day. Knowing the exact story he'd tell in a given situation. I'm sure that's when I'd know I'm really in love.
Past 2 days been exciting. the last paper is pretty much evil and horrible, thanks to spotting all the wrong questions, just somewhat hopeful that my crapping skills can save me. highlight of the paper is wangleehom, and 313. I should go and buy 4D, 0313 heh. a long bus-train journey with kj & grace, talking about exchange and all sort of things. and then, you realise, how fast time passes, and soon they will be gone, in just one month. and that the next time you see them, may be 9 months later. just like that, exams are over. just like that, time passes. headed to tampines one, the stationary shop, Uniqlo, & the bus interchange area. wanted to buy so many things at the stationary shop, and wanted to buy the purple-red flip jacket, and the $99 soft soft thing at uniqlo, but..didn't. walked around the bus interchange and remembered getting lost there during the minister wife's rehearsal days in the east. met up with jason after that and went to the penguin bookfair. messy like hell, and yan hua liao luan. after a while it gets tiring, but addictive. got some novels, some lit classics, some random stuff, and a beijing guidebook. Includes a book on depression and mourning written by a psychoanalyst with much reference to Freud. HAHA. Dinner @ T1(or T2) popeye, and for some suay reason they happened to run out of biscuits & mash potatoes. ): gah. but anyway airport is cool, I like the airport atmosphere, with the luggages, the trolleys, the skytrams, the signboards, even the cold temperature. (: can't wait for exchange! woohoo~. Met xinyi @ Tanjong Pagar after that, went to the club and couldn't get in. >.< utterly fail. Chilled @ Maxwell and then went back to the MRT to wait for the rest. Back to Maxwell again, and then I decided to be a good girl and went home. fate~ oh well, at least I had the experience of going to the outside of the club, LOL. Today afternoon was spent at Far East hanging out (haha they didnt shop much in the end thanks to me, oops) with edwin & clara, before heading over the zuohan's party! Funniest moments include Becky's welcoming team at the door, zh's "welcome to zuohan" thing that looks like a dress, and the locked fridge. (: Miki & Coffee are so cute! Chilled with alanreginadanoclaraedwin after that at some cafe which has a really nice atmosphere. (: time really flew and soon it was past midnight. saw some drunkens around the dubious fragrant hotel & hotel 88, and saw 2 seperate chains of car accidents on the way home. what a drama friday night. so drama that i can't sleep now and am hungry. boo.
BLEH.
|
navigation
|
SUPEI
reads: NYGH ACJC
WKWSCI Friends
|